Life Goes On

And on and on, apparently. Brent and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last month. Time really does fly. And it makes me feel old. Really old. It also made me realize one major thing. Brent and I do not have enough pictures together. So, my goal for the next 10 years is to make sure we get more pictures of us. Even if I have to train one of the kids, we are going to find a way to capture moments when we are together.

In January, Brent and I had big plans for our anniversary that are obviously going unfulfilled, but 11 years is going to be celebrated in style. Somewhere sunny, exotic, romantic and relaxing. I will just continue dreaming until that happens.
We did get to go to a really nice dinner downtown. It was a beautiful summer night and we had a great time. I don't know what we expected when we got married, but life has a funny way of surprising us. Mostly, I can't believe how incredible our life is together. We hit the jackpot with our kids and we still genuinely love spending time together. Just us. It doesn't happen often, but maybe that's why we crave it so much!

Our day was tainted by the reality that one of our friends at the hospital is likely not going to make it. He is a 5 year old little boy that we've known for a few months. His first week of radiation was Keith's last week. But he's been battling for over a year already. I ran into his mother on our way out of the clinic and she told me the news. They are willing to keep treating him but his MRI scans aren't showing improvement. I cried. I cried hard. I usually don't break like that, especially in front of Keith and Cole, but they were standing there with me when my friend shared the news and it just caught me off guard. It was already an emotional day as I contemplated how I had anticipated spending our 10th wedding anniversary and I can tell you it wasn't inside a children's oncology clinic. Cole kept asking me why I was crying and then as he wiped one of my tears, he said, "Here, Mom. I'll wipe your tears for ya."  So sweet.
Anyway, it just hit me hard. That's why I look so tired in these pictures and why I usually don't post pictures of myself. I look tired. I am tired. My heart aches for these people going through so much. And the day to day can sometimes be draining. I don't mean to be depressing. Life really is mostly "normal" for us these days but news like this just really hits home.

As we celebrate our 10 years together, we have many happy memories for which we are so grateful and we know we'll have many, many more. There's just a shadow there that has changed us forever. It hasn't all been bad change.  A lot of good change, actually, but still some very real heartache that we never anticipated 10 years ago. But that's okay. We have each other and not everyone has such a strong "other" so we know we are blessed.

Blast from the Past.

June 21, 2001

Portland, Oregon LDS Temple