Waiting...again

Brent's side of our bathroom vanity is plastered with inspirational quotes. The quote wall is something I often openly mock but secretly love. The contributors run the gamut from Gordon B. Hinckley to Jack Black. Somewhere along Brent's spectrum of brilliant minds sits Winston Churchill. One quote from him caught my eye before bed last night and has been burning in my mind ever since.

"I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else."

This is my motto for today. What good does it do any of us to be anything but optimistic?

I might have wavered a bit after meeting with the pediatric anesthesiologist who went over the dangers of brain surgery and ran down a laundry list of possible outcomes including stroke, nerve damage, etc. He did call us "veterans" at this whole brain surgery thing. I'm not quite sure yet how I feel about that comment, so we'll just leave it at that.
I also might have started shaking when the neurosurgeon reminded us that "this is a big deal". "We're going to be aggressive." "This is his one shot." (Gesturing to Keith). Basically, if we don't resect a very good portion of this tumor, therapy is not going to do much good.

Brent and I told ourselves that as medical professionals the physicians are obligated to explain all the risks. And despite those risks we still feel very optimistic. Remember it doesn't do any good to be anything else.

I also feel gratitude today. While we were in the pre-surgery area, there was a young mother and a beautiful baby boy headed for a second heart surgery. The mother had a laptop in her son's crib where her husband was available via Skype since he is currently serving in Iraq. Our hearts went out to her. She did have a friend and her pastor with her but that is not nearly the same as having a spouse's hand to hold or having a spouse give reassurance like only he or she can. Sometimes we think we have it the worst but in reality, we never do. Brent and I reminded each other of that and were even more grateful for each other. I said a silent prayer for that baby, his family and his medical team.

Currently, we are waiting out another surgery. This one is not as technical as the last one but every bit as important. In order for Keith's treatment plan to remain in the "Standard risk" category as opposed to the "Moderate or High risk" category, we need to remove close to all of this tumor. The pathology results show that this is not a classic medulloblastoma but shows signs of a slightly more aggressive type of medulloblastoma. Since at 3 years and 3 months, he barely exceeds the radiation age minimum of 3 years old, we would obviously like to keep his young brain at the lowest radiation rate as possible. If the surgeons can remove enough, Keith won't have to receive those stronger amounts of radiation and chemotherapy used for cases in the "moderate to high risk" category but can remain in the "Standard risk" category.

So, we are waiting. But we are hopeful and faithful and optimistic. Thank you again to countless people out there who are praying and fasting for us and simply keeping us in your thoughts. We've received many words of encouragement from many people and in many forms. Thank you. Please know how much it means to us.